What I learned last night while listening to Joyce Meyers sermon. Was that Soul and Spirit are two separate things.

As I understand it, the soul tells you what you need and want. If your hungry, cold, happy or sad. You want to spend time with a person because they make you feel good. You want to stay away from another person because they bug you.

Now the spirit is a gift and tells you how you should behave. How Jesus behaved when he went to the cross for our sins. The spirit is what held Jesus on the cross. Many debates have been made when they mention that the bible says the nails went into the hands of Jesus. And that during crucifixion the nail would have torn through the hands so the nail had to have been through the wrist. But I believe the nails were in his hand like the bible said, it was not the nails that held Jesus to the cross but it was his Spirit that held him there. For he knew that when he died for our sins that the Spirit would come and live in each of us and this is what we needed here on earth so that we can have eternity in heaven.

Our soul will want to let every person who has hurt us, know that they have behaved improperly towards us. The soul want to confront and expects an apology. However the Spirit is different. The spirit knows that the soul is selfish and if we follow everything the Soul wants we will be guilty of hurting others. Jesus did not go to each sinner and said you sinned yesterday and now I have to go to the cross and die for you. And you sinned again today so now I have to go to the cross and die for you. His spirit said "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing." Jesus didn't confront us but he asked that we be forgiven.

Our Spirit is with us to teach us how we should behave like Jesus and be an example of forgiveness. Our soul wants to be vindicated, when our Spirit wants to be forgiving.

Mood is LIfting

   Prescription medication is clearing from my system as I have finished it all Wednesday night. I am feeling much better and my normal mind set it back. A little bit more energy this morning. I know that I need to take it easy as the past 10 days I have been pretty much bed bound exhausted.
   Mom came yesterday and helped watch KZ which was wonderful. I have missed KZ so much and I love seeing mom and her together.

   Forced inside on this beautiful day as the neighbors are burning leaves or something in a backyard firepit. Took another nap and really want to get out in the yard but it won't happen tonight.
   I am really craving a cup of coffee with real cream and sugar. Desperately trying to keep busy so I don't indulge. I have no idea what I will have for dinner tonight. I really am not hungry so it is difficult to plan. 
  

Lunch

   Just as I was starting to feel better it is now time for Lunch and medication. I am having quinoa edamame in some veg broth and a dash of coconut oil. I don't know it that is enough for lunch but it is all I can handle.
  Steve is out of town on a business trip and may be back tomorrow or Friday. Mom is coming tomorrow to watch KZ. Which is something I am looking forward to. Today has been difficult.
   I remember that I picked up my medication but for the life of me I don't remember if I took it and that was only 5 minutes ago. I am at the end and there are only 2 left and I think there were 3. But I don't remember. 

Snack

   I was able to go out into the garden and do some weeding and pruning. Helped with my mood but not my energy. It is a beautiful cool day here and the fresh air makes me very happy. I had my morning snack at 10:30 Fresh Tomato, Mozzarella, Carrots, Sun dried tomato in olive oil because it tastes so good. I had about 1 cup worth. I am beginning to feel a little bit better and expect that my blood sugar is rising. I would test but my pet peeve is the local stores have my test strips and they cost over 1.00 a piece. If I order online they are about .50 a piece. So I am waiting for my order to arrive, free postage. Pet Peeve - if they can make money selling it for .50 a strip and give us free postage then why do the local stores charge over 1.00.......Well anyway I know I have to test twice a day before I take my medication and since I don't know when the strips will arrive I have to ration out the few I have left.
   I am sitting on the porch, enjoying the fresh air and birds. Looking forward to having all this behind me so I can get back to doing the things I enjoy.
   Side note- Before I knew about my sugar I had started what I called the WIC diet... We do daycare for our grand daughter and when I go to the grocery store I buy anything that has the WIC approved sign just because that helped us make healthy choices for her. I started eating a handful of food every hour - Which is a ton of food and about twice of what I was usually eating. Well I am now down 33lbs. and 4 dress sizes! Yeah Me!

Finding out I was Diabetic - Back History

So some back history. I have had trouble with low blood sugar since I was in my 20's and maybe even before that. But I was able to handle it, when sugar was low I would eat a piece of fruit and when it was high I would have bursts of energy which I always used for exercising or working with hobbies. I could never eat a whole meal so I opted out for grazing.
   I went for a Colonoscopy.  The prep had me choosing from drinking a sweet salty drink or a sugar free drink. I expected with the sugar free drink would bring on a migraine so I choose for the salty sweet drink, knowing from past history sugary drinks take about 2 days to leave my system but hey, I get a lot of energy from that. Well my pre-blood tests showed my sugar as very high and the surgeon told me to make an appointment with my reg. doctor. Which is something I didn't do as I was feeling great and energetic.  So on with the Colonoscopy which in the long run couldn't be preformed because when they got to my right side the bowel was all twisted. I woke up from anesthesia on the x-ray table full of the stuff that makes the insides glow and in lots of pain. They had me twisting and turning so they could get a view of what was going on. I don't know what this procedure was called as they didn't go behind any wall they were right next to me and took about 20 views. With all that said I need to go back in 3 years to do it all over again. What fun.....But anyway go get your Colonoscopy because it can save your life.
   Sometime in the future I had to go to the doctor for regular female stuff and I asked for a blood test. The test came back, high sugar, high cholesterol and high thyroid. My A1C was a 9 so we know my sugar has been high for at least the last 3 months. The doctor told me to take 1/2 a pill twice a day and rushed through the rest of the appointment. Because I refused to go on 3 medications at once we choose the sugar as the most important.
   I had also complained of a sore throat and nausea. They did a throat culture and it was negative for strep. The doctor told me to take an antihistamine (non-drowsy) kind and I told her I don't do well on medication. She said to take 1/2 of one and I should not have any problem. Well 20 hours later I woke up in the ER room. I kind of remember walking in there but I don't remember much. My husband said I wouldn't eat or drink and said I felt horrible. He asked if I wanted to go to the ER and I said yes.
  So now in the ER room they were talking about spinal taps - brain scans etc to rule out meningitis. I was able to remember that I had been vaccinated for meningitis within the past two years, with that information and they decided to take another throat culture which came back positive for strep. The nurse could tell as soon as she pulled out the swab. So yeah! no spinal tap needed. But I was put on an antibiotic, with that and the new medication for sugar I feel horrible. I am unable to do my daily things and I have not been able to provide day-care for our grand-daughter.  Today is the last day (10 days 4 times a day) of the antibiotic so I am hoping things will get back to normal tomorrow.      

Breakfast was Coffee with dry cream, Greek yogurt, Blueberries, Almonds, Sun Flower seeds, and my medication including vitamins. I did some stretches and went up and down the stairs a few times. I just want to go to bed but I will go take a shower instead.